a blog for someone who cannot shut up....

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Lazy Blogging and Pity for Millionaires

First off, my apologies for not tending to the blog garden for 2+ weeks. I have been so busy... mostly with trying to find out what kind of wine Jacko used to get the kids into their underwear. How did he decide? Did he go to the wine store and ask "Pardon me. I have a question about entertaining some guests of mine. What kind of wine is good for hanging out with pre-teens wearing their Underoos?" I don't know. Maybe a nice Shiraz gets you to Aquaman. It certainly is worth discussion, if you're a sick twisted freak like myself.

Now to Barry. I know all of you are not big sports fans, or even fans of MLB. However, even the most casual observer must admit that the recent press conference featuring Mr. Bonds and his son was, in a word, unreal. It is one thing to blame the media for your troubles. Most people are familiar with sports stars who refuse to take any responsibility for their problems, especially problems that just so happen to create salacious fishwrap-selling headlines. It is another thing entirely when said star decides to trot his family members out in order to curry sympathy from the viewing public. It was so transparent...he actually said "expand the camera angle so you can see my son". I'm still not sure of what I witnessed, it was so unbelieveable. When you make pro athlete cheddar, you had better accept everything that comes along with it. Yes, Barry, that includes the kind of media attention that makes a Proctology exam look like an over-the-phone consultation. He clearly still cannot accept this part of his life as "Star", and at 40 years plus it makes his mind and his judgement seem awfully adolescent. I hope his son was keen to the whole situation, and made the appearance as a favor to his dad. His son is most likely more emotionally mature that Bonds...I'd bet money on it. Who knows, if Bonds is this child-like perhaps Mr. Beat It (has a whole new meaning, don't it) has a chance to get him into a Neverland bedroom with a small glass of chardonnay. My guess is that Bonds is partial to Wonder Woman under that SF Giants jersey.

3 comments:

Wes Mantooth said...

I'm sure there are several theories as to why Barry has decided to blame the "fabricating" media for all his problems. In my mind, the most obvious reason seems to be his lack of accountability.

Think about it. What better way, to keep the hounds off your scent, than to take a two week rehabilitation and turn it into a possible career ending injury. No time on the field, no steriod testing by Major League Baseball.

Barry will sit out half the season (in order to cleanse his system) then make another run at the ultimate prize.

If he pulls it off, he's vindicated of any wrong doing and the media was on another "witch hunt" to protect, arguably, the greatest record in all of sports.

If he fails, the media is to blame for finally "getting" to Bonds. The race card will be thrown into the fray, once again, and Barry will retire a martyr.

Sounds like the perfect plan to me.

I have to give it to Barry for not being the total invertebrate that is Mark McGwire. This so called man, has the audacity to hide behind his attorney. The tears were a nice touch. Nut-up you cipher!

In the end, even Jacko may have more sense than to try using a Shiraz or Chardonnay to "loosen" up Barry or Mark. A nice can of Hamms is probably too sophisticated for their tastes.

Wes Mantooth said...

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Jason Hart said...

Judging by the facts that have come out over the last few years, the wine Jacko used is probably the same wine most Catholics sample at communion every Sunday.