a blog for someone who cannot shut up....

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Be sure to visit

Cruise on over and check it out:


Good sports analysis with humor and insight

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Did Ray Guy use "The Clear"?

I just had to comment on this...I was cruising around cbs sportsline 5 minutes ago and I read this little gem:

The Carolina Panthers' Todd Sauerbrun and Jeff Mitchell and former player Todd Steussie had steroid prescriptions filled by a West Columbia, S.C., doctor now under investigation by federal authorities, according to a 60 Minutes Wednesday report.

WHAT? Now the punters are bulking up? I am less suprised at steroids in the NFL, of course, but when guys like Sauerbrun decide they need that "extra edge" I start wondering what we may find down the rabbit hole. Performance enhancing drugs are nothing new, especially considering all the Olympians that have been accused of juicin' up, and I can handle it when Romo goes insane during Raiders practice and ends somebody's career. But if I am just supposed to shrug when Todd effin' Sauerbrun, the punter, is caught adding a little extra to those guns of his, I think we have crossed into an area where absolutely anything is possible.

I can see it now....Steroid Scandal rocks the PGA! Davis Love III shootin' up in the Porta-John during the Masters Pro-Am!

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Lazy Blogging and Pity for Millionaires

First off, my apologies for not tending to the blog garden for 2+ weeks. I have been so busy... mostly with trying to find out what kind of wine Jacko used to get the kids into their underwear. How did he decide? Did he go to the wine store and ask "Pardon me. I have a question about entertaining some guests of mine. What kind of wine is good for hanging out with pre-teens wearing their Underoos?" I don't know. Maybe a nice Shiraz gets you to Aquaman. It certainly is worth discussion, if you're a sick twisted freak like myself.

Now to Barry. I know all of you are not big sports fans, or even fans of MLB. However, even the most casual observer must admit that the recent press conference featuring Mr. Bonds and his son was, in a word, unreal. It is one thing to blame the media for your troubles. Most people are familiar with sports stars who refuse to take any responsibility for their problems, especially problems that just so happen to create salacious fishwrap-selling headlines. It is another thing entirely when said star decides to trot his family members out in order to curry sympathy from the viewing public. It was so transparent...he actually said "expand the camera angle so you can see my son". I'm still not sure of what I witnessed, it was so unbelieveable. When you make pro athlete cheddar, you had better accept everything that comes along with it. Yes, Barry, that includes the kind of media attention that makes a Proctology exam look like an over-the-phone consultation. He clearly still cannot accept this part of his life as "Star", and at 40 years plus it makes his mind and his judgement seem awfully adolescent. I hope his son was keen to the whole situation, and made the appearance as a favor to his dad. His son is most likely more emotionally mature that Bonds...I'd bet money on it. Who knows, if Bonds is this child-like perhaps Mr. Beat It (has a whole new meaning, don't it) has a chance to get him into a Neverland bedroom with a small glass of chardonnay. My guess is that Bonds is partial to Wonder Woman under that SF Giants jersey.

Friday, March 04, 2005

Point/Counter Point

See below for a review of last night's Crue show at MSG, followed by a rebuttal, both from friends of mine acting as guest music reviewers for the day:

Yes, we ventured to Madison Square Garden last night to partake in the New York City stop of Motley Crue's Carnival of Sins tour. To be quite honest, I think the Crue did the best job they possibly could given their one fatal flaw. And what is that flaw? Their songs are derivative and they all sound eerily similar. I am not saying that characteristic is necessarily a bad thing. But for a band to pull this stunt off successfully, they better have their craft perfected (AC/DC comes immediately to mind).

The first set of the show was a full frontal assault from their first two albums, including Shout At The Devil, Too Fast For Love, On With The Show, 10 Seconds To Love, Red Hot, Too Young To Fall In Love, Looks That Kill and Live Wire. The advantage of this set was that the songs were tight and succinct and really showed off the unbelievable talent of Tommy Lee. As for the other members, Vince Neil's voice was surprisingly strong, Mick Mars barely made a movement besides picking his guitar (it's a major detriment to a hard rock band when your lead axe man looks like a mannequin) and Nikki Sixx had the low hung bass look down pat.

The second set focused on the back half of their career which veered from the good ("Girls, Girls, Girls" and "Wild Side") to the painful ("Without You" and "Home Sweet Home"). The encore featured a percussion masturbation from Tommy Lee that was brutal to endure. Also, if I had to hear one more shout out to the fans about how, "we got back together for one motherf***in reason only, its because of you motherf***in fans!" Is that right, Vince? It wouldn't have anything to do with my $70 ticket now?

While there is no doubt that Motley Crue has written rock anthems that will persevere through time and will continue to make my drive home after work entertaining, they are a one trick pony. And when a one trick pony goes on for over two hours, boredom will inevitably set in.

Grade: C +

NOW, the rebuttal:

"All the songs sound the same"---are you fucking kidding me??? This is the exact same thing my father said as he was driving me to the Twisted Sister "Stay Hungry" Tour" show at Freedom Hall Plaza (Johnson City, TN)--circa 1985. A couple of points to add: While I will agree that "Without You" falls into the "let's go get a beer" category, the song "Home Sweet Home" is neither from the "back half of their career" (it came out on the "Theater of Pain" album in '84) nor should it fall into the category of "painful". Indeed, many would categorize "Home Sweet Home" as the original hair metal ballad and as such should be given the respect it deserves (As I type this with my right hand, I am holding a lighter in the air with my left). Secondly, a drum solo by Tommy Lee is "brutal"?? Here again, it is time for the reviewer to go ahead and slip on the mock turtle neck and tweed sportcoat and turn in his metal collection for the soothing sounds of Sade, Kenny G, or Clay Aiken. Tommy Lee's drum solos, while purposely overly dramatic, are considered a staple in the world of heavy metal shows such as these---letting him showcase his talent, etc. Would you have made the same claims if John Bonham was still alive and had the obligatory solo??

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

I hope he has Dr. Feelgood

Please join me in sending out a Get Well Soon to DD, currently held up in the Rocky Mtns. I hope they are piping Fu Manchu into your room, buddy. Nothing makes you feel better like songs about riding dirt bikes....really, really fast.
Meanwhile, I'm sure these gentlemen hope to see you soon.
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