a blog for someone who cannot shut up....

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

The Force, or is it FlexAll?

I had been waiting for the right time to go see Revenge of the Sith. I was 7 years old when Episode IV came out in '77, a perfect age for that kind of movie. I had all the action figures, I had the Land Speeder with the retractable wheels, and of course I had my own X-Wing Fighter. It seemed everyone at school had some combination of the aforementioned items....some even had those foot-long action figures, the coolest one of all being Boba Fett, of course.

I had not made firm plans with anyone to see it, so on Monday night I just went solo to take it in. Blame FOX for giving me Episode II, Attack of the Clones, on Sunday in HiDef with Dolby 5.1....all of a sudden I was jonesing to pick up the story where it had been left off. Smart programming.
Going alone to the movies gives you the freedom to choose the best seat in the house. There are always single seats available because, for the most part, people do not enjoy having to sit next to our fellow citizens in such close proximity. Sure enough, after choosing a seat smack dab in the middle of the row, the guy next to me waited 5 minutes before moving to the right about 2 seats, complete with an "I am annoyed" snort. I don't stink. I don't talk, and I don't fling MilkDuds everywhere when I eat, so this fellow clearly felt it was just...too....close. I hope he works through his issues.

As far as the movie goes, I give it a 7/10. It is MUCH better than the last two Lucas offerings, if only because he keeps the pace moving. He cuts down on the sedative-like effects found in the dialogue of the previous 2 movies and gives us much more of the action/adventure we came to see in the first place. I guess George figured out that we're not here to see Anakin and Padme declare their love for each other. We're here to see Jango Fett launch some crazy missle off of his JetPack, some gadget that makes MacGyver look like he's working out a plumber's tool kit. The acting still sucks, and Samuel Jackson should be tested to see how much wood is in his body...Master Windu will not be appearing in any off-Tatooine stage productions...what a throw-away role. Speaking of the Jedi Council, I have to bring up this bothersome inconsistency (credit to JM, a friend in Santa Fe): in every shot, Yoda is walking around with a cane, and seemingly hobbled from a life of battling the Dark side and various other back-breaking Jedi labor he may have engaged in.....BUT, just like in the last movie's fight with Count Dooku, when the heat is on the guy transforms into something not unlike the bizarre monkey-style fighter in Bloodsport. I suppose we must accept that the Force, while its main focus is to provide various abilities like Chokehold and Levitate, also offers a soothing menthol heat for tired joints and muscles. Rub more of the Force in the affected area if symptoms reappear. I also must give props to Christopher Lee as Count Dooku. Lee was running around with Peter Cushing and Vincent Price in 50's and 60's horror films...http://imdb.com/title/tt0059125/...and here we are 50 years later and he looks like Connery's stunt double from Entrapment. Nice make-up work. Very nice.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Dog Pee in My Kitchen

I walked the dog in the park near my house this morning and came upon a small 'lady and the tramp' style terrier male puppy (Buddy) and a huge choco lab male (Loki). Thinking their people must be around somewhere, I tried to go past them but they were sniffing my dog Daisy (adopted boxer/pitbull) and following us. No leashes, and no one showed up in 10 minutes to take claim. Their was no answer at the number on both tags, and they were too near a major street, so I took both of them and brought them home. Buddy whizzed on my kitchen floor, looking at me like he was saying "Thanks for letting us chill here, chump." 2 hrs later the people finally answered their phone and I drove them over to their home, 6 blocks away or so. They were very thankful..if you have ever lost your dog(s) for any period of time it is a terrible, awful mental place to be. I was offered a cold Pepsi...very nice of them. While on the front lawn, the man of the house hit me with the folded up bill, the style you use when you need to make less look like more with the luggage guy. It was mysterious to look at it, it could be a 20, it could have been a 10, 5..even a single for that matter...you didn't know...and therein was the wonderful not-knowing of the process. I returned this man's animals...and he tipped me. Its not the amount ($5 as it turned out), but the skycap/doorman flavor of it. I dream of a world where men roam the streets, ready at a moment's notice to rescue your dog from possible death/injury by motor vehicle...or, if not, maybe load your golf clubs into the car.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

"Hey, you with the beard. Why are we all so goddamn short? Is Darth Vader this short?" Posted by Hello

Its easy to fix the Millenium Falcon now

The following is a good example of what I might come up with on this online journal, this blog, as all the hipsters are calling it. A friend of mine told me I should do more analysis on Nef. R, more depth. There will be time in the future for long-winded manifestos and for some "heavy rotation" features, features like "Music Picks of the Week" or the like. I'm still getting my sea legs, and sometimes this site will reflect what is on the "Mr. Bobo's Table" of my brain. If you go to political blogs at all you'll notice that almost every entry is like an Op-Ed piece within your local paper: What is a hot topic, and what do I want to say about it? There is too much of that already in the blogosphere. I strongly feel there is always room for nonsense, and Jello as well. (If you're scratching your head over the ref. to one Mr. Bobo, then you didn't watch enough Cheers)

The item that caught my eye today is the new LEGO/Star Wars video game. Yes, I'm one of those men in their mid-30's that cannot shed their video game roots - and why should I? If you were a boy lucky enough to come of age when the Atari 2600 was THE holiday gift, and the Combat game seemed as detailed and rich as today's military training programs, then you know where I'm coming from. I have watched the latest renaissance with joy. With XBox Live I can play some snot-nosed Midwestern kid - a real-time human opponent - in FIFA soccer while sitting on my couch and eating my Mixed Berry gummies. That is quite a leap.
The "creative" team in question decided to make a video game for the latest consoles featuring on-screen characters (see screenshot above) that appear exactly as real LEGO people appear : little overweight midgets with 3-D horseshoe hands and a facial expression that suggests mild retardation. Supposedly these little Life Goes On Jedi Masters not only fit the graphical world of Star Wars but also comfort the little tyke playing this adventure with soothing, familiar icons. Even the cool spaceships that exist in this galaxy far, far away are limited to the Lego block system...who knew? Why not just chuck the Lego license entirely and pay the graphic artists to create vivid player characters that fill your screen with color and detail but tone down the violence and sell it as a G-rated kids Star Wars game? No, lets just give 'em some of the same plastic shit they get out of the box.
Perhaps this works on some level. I don't know. They call it "kid-friendly" in the one of the taglines. How about this one : "We've imagined the plastic for you."

UPDATE: A friend with an MBA tells me that this is good marketing at work. He is probably right, and the game will sell well. I still think the kids would rather look at the kind of visuals that they can see in their heads using a little imagination, not the plastic little man in their hands.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Be sure to visit

Cruise on over and check it out:


Good sports analysis with humor and insight

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Did Ray Guy use "The Clear"?

I just had to comment on this...I was cruising around cbs sportsline 5 minutes ago and I read this little gem:

The Carolina Panthers' Todd Sauerbrun and Jeff Mitchell and former player Todd Steussie had steroid prescriptions filled by a West Columbia, S.C., doctor now under investigation by federal authorities, according to a 60 Minutes Wednesday report.

WHAT? Now the punters are bulking up? I am less suprised at steroids in the NFL, of course, but when guys like Sauerbrun decide they need that "extra edge" I start wondering what we may find down the rabbit hole. Performance enhancing drugs are nothing new, especially considering all the Olympians that have been accused of juicin' up, and I can handle it when Romo goes insane during Raiders practice and ends somebody's career. But if I am just supposed to shrug when Todd effin' Sauerbrun, the punter, is caught adding a little extra to those guns of his, I think we have crossed into an area where absolutely anything is possible.

I can see it now....Steroid Scandal rocks the PGA! Davis Love III shootin' up in the Porta-John during the Masters Pro-Am!

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Lazy Blogging and Pity for Millionaires

First off, my apologies for not tending to the blog garden for 2+ weeks. I have been so busy... mostly with trying to find out what kind of wine Jacko used to get the kids into their underwear. How did he decide? Did he go to the wine store and ask "Pardon me. I have a question about entertaining some guests of mine. What kind of wine is good for hanging out with pre-teens wearing their Underoos?" I don't know. Maybe a nice Shiraz gets you to Aquaman. It certainly is worth discussion, if you're a sick twisted freak like myself.

Now to Barry. I know all of you are not big sports fans, or even fans of MLB. However, even the most casual observer must admit that the recent press conference featuring Mr. Bonds and his son was, in a word, unreal. It is one thing to blame the media for your troubles. Most people are familiar with sports stars who refuse to take any responsibility for their problems, especially problems that just so happen to create salacious fishwrap-selling headlines. It is another thing entirely when said star decides to trot his family members out in order to curry sympathy from the viewing public. It was so transparent...he actually said "expand the camera angle so you can see my son". I'm still not sure of what I witnessed, it was so unbelieveable. When you make pro athlete cheddar, you had better accept everything that comes along with it. Yes, Barry, that includes the kind of media attention that makes a Proctology exam look like an over-the-phone consultation. He clearly still cannot accept this part of his life as "Star", and at 40 years plus it makes his mind and his judgement seem awfully adolescent. I hope his son was keen to the whole situation, and made the appearance as a favor to his dad. His son is most likely more emotionally mature that Bonds...I'd bet money on it. Who knows, if Bonds is this child-like perhaps Mr. Beat It (has a whole new meaning, don't it) has a chance to get him into a Neverland bedroom with a small glass of chardonnay. My guess is that Bonds is partial to Wonder Woman under that SF Giants jersey.

Friday, March 04, 2005

Point/Counter Point

See below for a review of last night's Crue show at MSG, followed by a rebuttal, both from friends of mine acting as guest music reviewers for the day:

Yes, we ventured to Madison Square Garden last night to partake in the New York City stop of Motley Crue's Carnival of Sins tour. To be quite honest, I think the Crue did the best job they possibly could given their one fatal flaw. And what is that flaw? Their songs are derivative and they all sound eerily similar. I am not saying that characteristic is necessarily a bad thing. But for a band to pull this stunt off successfully, they better have their craft perfected (AC/DC comes immediately to mind).

The first set of the show was a full frontal assault from their first two albums, including Shout At The Devil, Too Fast For Love, On With The Show, 10 Seconds To Love, Red Hot, Too Young To Fall In Love, Looks That Kill and Live Wire. The advantage of this set was that the songs were tight and succinct and really showed off the unbelievable talent of Tommy Lee. As for the other members, Vince Neil's voice was surprisingly strong, Mick Mars barely made a movement besides picking his guitar (it's a major detriment to a hard rock band when your lead axe man looks like a mannequin) and Nikki Sixx had the low hung bass look down pat.

The second set focused on the back half of their career which veered from the good ("Girls, Girls, Girls" and "Wild Side") to the painful ("Without You" and "Home Sweet Home"). The encore featured a percussion masturbation from Tommy Lee that was brutal to endure. Also, if I had to hear one more shout out to the fans about how, "we got back together for one motherf***in reason only, its because of you motherf***in fans!" Is that right, Vince? It wouldn't have anything to do with my $70 ticket now?

While there is no doubt that Motley Crue has written rock anthems that will persevere through time and will continue to make my drive home after work entertaining, they are a one trick pony. And when a one trick pony goes on for over two hours, boredom will inevitably set in.

Grade: C +

NOW, the rebuttal:

"All the songs sound the same"---are you fucking kidding me??? This is the exact same thing my father said as he was driving me to the Twisted Sister "Stay Hungry" Tour" show at Freedom Hall Plaza (Johnson City, TN)--circa 1985. A couple of points to add: While I will agree that "Without You" falls into the "let's go get a beer" category, the song "Home Sweet Home" is neither from the "back half of their career" (it came out on the "Theater of Pain" album in '84) nor should it fall into the category of "painful". Indeed, many would categorize "Home Sweet Home" as the original hair metal ballad and as such should be given the respect it deserves (As I type this with my right hand, I am holding a lighter in the air with my left). Secondly, a drum solo by Tommy Lee is "brutal"?? Here again, it is time for the reviewer to go ahead and slip on the mock turtle neck and tweed sportcoat and turn in his metal collection for the soothing sounds of Sade, Kenny G, or Clay Aiken. Tommy Lee's drum solos, while purposely overly dramatic, are considered a staple in the world of heavy metal shows such as these---letting him showcase his talent, etc. Would you have made the same claims if John Bonham was still alive and had the obligatory solo??

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

I hope he has Dr. Feelgood

Please join me in sending out a Get Well Soon to DD, currently held up in the Rocky Mtns. I hope they are piping Fu Manchu into your room, buddy. Nothing makes you feel better like songs about riding dirt bikes....really, really fast.
Meanwhile, I'm sure these gentlemen hope to see you soon.
Posted by Hello

Monday, February 28, 2005

Sideways...and Merlot

A friend of mine sent me a link to this guy's website. I had seen this fellow's "Children's artwork reviews" before, very very funny. But this little rant regarding the movie Sideways is well worth your time:


Friday, February 25, 2005

Carrie-Anne Moss arrives and smiles at the paparazzi, showing off the latest in Matrix fashion. Moss was in L.A. attending a suprise gala bash to announce yet another film in the popular Sci-Fi series. (Pic courtesy of AP/Drudge Report) Posted by Hello

Thursday, February 24, 2005


Just seen on Home Shopping Network:
Introducing Item 660-558 $52.90
Suzanne Somers Faux Anaconda Nailhead Studded Sunglasses

(Trust me. These ridiculous shades would make Al Davis hesitate.)

I don't really have to add to this, but Ms. Somers herself is on the show, hawking this shit. Let me give you a direct quote, as she addressed one of the poor models wearing this crap: "You look like a million bucks." She just said something else....the TV is in the other room. Something about a fabric known as Leopard Suede. There are other "garments" involved besides the glasses.
No. Please, Chrissy. No.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Mr. Bonds is a bit defensive

By now, I'm sure all the baseball fans out there have taken notice of Barry's tirade...um, I mean press conference. I heard Dave Kindred from the sporting news comment on this situation while I was listening to the radio today...I think he is right on when he suggests that most sports stars have a relationship with the fans through the media, and most manage that relationship much better than Bonds. Because Bonds will be in a Cold War with the media until he retires, he doesn't get the benefit of the doubt when it comes to steroids...he doesn't have any goodwill with the press, so thus they don't try very hard to cast him in a positive light when it comes to these allegations.

a brief comment

I think there are many rules about blogging that I need to adhere to, and right off the bat I know that generally bloggers will offer a "hat tip" to the people that either provide links to desired content, or ideas, or whatever. So, in the interests of getting this off on the right foot, I offer a "hat tip" to www.lileks.com

I derived my username from one of his posts, I encourage you to visit his site. Many interesting things to see there, and he has a unique sense of humor.

If you don't recognize this, you probably were a Corey Haim/Corey Feldman fan at some point in your life. Posted by Hello

Welcome to my Blog

Welcome to my Weblog. I have thought about starting one before but never got moving on it. Too many ideas and thoughts, however, to keep them crammed inside my head. This blog will be about many things, and pop culture certainly covers much of these areas. Thoughts on music, comedy, sports, and some of my sillier observations will be offered to you for your enjoyment. I know a variety of people and they all have some interesting things to say - so hopefully they will get excited to participate.

Today, while walking the dog, I was listening to a local FM station, and got hit with a sweet back to back: Van Halen's "Panama" followed by AC/DC's "Have a Drink on Me". If thos two songs don't get you going, you might as well cover yourself with dirt right now. Got to love Phoenix radio. ButtRock 24/7.