a blog for someone who cannot shut up....

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

The Force, or is it FlexAll?

I had been waiting for the right time to go see Revenge of the Sith. I was 7 years old when Episode IV came out in '77, a perfect age for that kind of movie. I had all the action figures, I had the Land Speeder with the retractable wheels, and of course I had my own X-Wing Fighter. It seemed everyone at school had some combination of the aforementioned items....some even had those foot-long action figures, the coolest one of all being Boba Fett, of course.

I had not made firm plans with anyone to see it, so on Monday night I just went solo to take it in. Blame FOX for giving me Episode II, Attack of the Clones, on Sunday in HiDef with Dolby 5.1....all of a sudden I was jonesing to pick up the story where it had been left off. Smart programming.
Going alone to the movies gives you the freedom to choose the best seat in the house. There are always single seats available because, for the most part, people do not enjoy having to sit next to our fellow citizens in such close proximity. Sure enough, after choosing a seat smack dab in the middle of the row, the guy next to me waited 5 minutes before moving to the right about 2 seats, complete with an "I am annoyed" snort. I don't stink. I don't talk, and I don't fling MilkDuds everywhere when I eat, so this fellow clearly felt it was just...too....close. I hope he works through his issues.

As far as the movie goes, I give it a 7/10. It is MUCH better than the last two Lucas offerings, if only because he keeps the pace moving. He cuts down on the sedative-like effects found in the dialogue of the previous 2 movies and gives us much more of the action/adventure we came to see in the first place. I guess George figured out that we're not here to see Anakin and Padme declare their love for each other. We're here to see Jango Fett launch some crazy missle off of his JetPack, some gadget that makes MacGyver look like he's working out a plumber's tool kit. The acting still sucks, and Samuel Jackson should be tested to see how much wood is in his body...Master Windu will not be appearing in any off-Tatooine stage productions...what a throw-away role. Speaking of the Jedi Council, I have to bring up this bothersome inconsistency (credit to JM, a friend in Santa Fe): in every shot, Yoda is walking around with a cane, and seemingly hobbled from a life of battling the Dark side and various other back-breaking Jedi labor he may have engaged in.....BUT, just like in the last movie's fight with Count Dooku, when the heat is on the guy transforms into something not unlike the bizarre monkey-style fighter in Bloodsport. I suppose we must accept that the Force, while its main focus is to provide various abilities like Chokehold and Levitate, also offers a soothing menthol heat for tired joints and muscles. Rub more of the Force in the affected area if symptoms reappear. I also must give props to Christopher Lee as Count Dooku. Lee was running around with Peter Cushing and Vincent Price in 50's and 60's horror films...http://imdb.com/title/tt0059125/...and here we are 50 years later and he looks like Connery's stunt double from Entrapment. Nice make-up work. Very nice.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Dog Pee in My Kitchen

I walked the dog in the park near my house this morning and came upon a small 'lady and the tramp' style terrier male puppy (Buddy) and a huge choco lab male (Loki). Thinking their people must be around somewhere, I tried to go past them but they were sniffing my dog Daisy (adopted boxer/pitbull) and following us. No leashes, and no one showed up in 10 minutes to take claim. Their was no answer at the number on both tags, and they were too near a major street, so I took both of them and brought them home. Buddy whizzed on my kitchen floor, looking at me like he was saying "Thanks for letting us chill here, chump." 2 hrs later the people finally answered their phone and I drove them over to their home, 6 blocks away or so. They were very thankful..if you have ever lost your dog(s) for any period of time it is a terrible, awful mental place to be. I was offered a cold Pepsi...very nice of them. While on the front lawn, the man of the house hit me with the folded up bill, the style you use when you need to make less look like more with the luggage guy. It was mysterious to look at it, it could be a 20, it could have been a 10, 5..even a single for that matter...you didn't know...and therein was the wonderful not-knowing of the process. I returned this man's animals...and he tipped me. Its not the amount ($5 as it turned out), but the skycap/doorman flavor of it. I dream of a world where men roam the streets, ready at a moment's notice to rescue your dog from possible death/injury by motor vehicle...or, if not, maybe load your golf clubs into the car.