V For Vapidity

Rented V For Vendetta through Netflix. I think I can summarize this film thusly:
"It's Must-See Thursday! First, at 8, Padme and V hang out watching classic b&w movies; V blows up some
shit."

The effort to paint a lunatic as a disfigured jazz aficionado with a Mensa vocabulary and a flair for entertaining made me laugh out loud. I know it was a DC Comics graphic novel, and I don't have an issue with the story line. But IMDB readers make it sound like All The President's Men . This flick was Fantastic 4 with better acting. To call it ham-handed would be a compliment.

Viggo

In case anyone is interested, AMC is serving up Hidalgo right now.

(muffled chuckle)

The Bills Must Be Paid

I don't know about you, but when discussing Hollywood and its denizens, the names of Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman come up frequently. In fact, people seem to often be thinking of one guy when they are actually thinking of the other dude. If you use 1990 as a baseline you have several big name films that feature one of these actors. Lets see.....for Paxton: Tombstone, True Lies, Apollo 13, A Simple Plan,Twister. For Pullman: Singles, Wyatt Earp (the connection to Tombstone is very weird.) Independence Day, The Grudge. Mr. Paxton was born in 1955. Mr. Pullman was born in 1953. Obviously there is no cosmic connection, but these two gentlemen seem to often occupy the same movie discussion. Tonight, however, was different. ScatTime featured some flick called Brain Dead (1990) Plot line: A process to erase unhappy memories takes a turn for the worse when a patient loses his mind during surgery. I felt like Indiana Jones finding that golden head statue thing in the cave - such a rare, rare find....a movie that had BOTH Paxton and Pullman. It was a P&P Double-Shot. Imagine that. Then sit back and consider the awesome consequences.

Hee Hee

She is not that fat, but you have to laugh just the same.

2 More Reasons Why Movie Channels Suck

Currently on HBO-E:
Land of the Dead (2005) A mercenary leader squares off against a rebellious comrade, while flesh-eating zombies threaten their fortified city.
Starring someone named Simon Baker and John Leguizamo.
Comment: More like Land of the Extremely Shitty Movie.

In case your crap meter is not red-lining, HBO-Zone concurrently offers this "film":
Supercross: The Movie (2005) Sibling rivalry threatens to tear apart two brothers after one wins a slot on a motocross team. Starring Steve Howey and Mike Vogel.
Comment: I don't remember Supercross: The TV Series, do you?

Star Wars Jam

Speaking of Star Wars....I received this strange illustration in my inbox today.

Barely Scraping By

I was in the grocery line this evening and I took my usual glance through the bold headlines on the covers of People, National Enquirer, etc. The current Us Weekly cover features a photo of Tori Spelling, aka Admiral Ackbar (hint: Tori is the one on the right) The storyline was that her mother was going to cut her out of the $500 million estate left after Aaron Spelling passed away, and it said on the cover that she is "struggling to make ends meet." Yes, I am sure it must be quite rough for her right now. Hopefully her website is providing a revenue stream of some kind. I wonder if that hideous color represents royalty on the home planet of the Mon Calamari.

Memory Lane

The process of ripping all of my CDs into MP3 has been time consuming, no doubt. However, the necessary steps to do so provide a walk down the musical streets of yesteryear. Or at least the "heavy rotation" of yesteryear in terms of what you were playing in your car, walkman, discman, whatever at any given point in your music history. I do have plenty of space on my 30GB iPod, but I am still trying to not add any shitty music, if I can help it. Some CDs get added with no editing. The fringe players? They are not so lucky.

Today's voyage included a reintroduction to two of Robert Plant's solo efforts - Now And Zen (1988) as well as Manic Nirvana (1990). After saying "hello" to Dance on my Own, Helen of Troy, and White, Clean and Neat for the first time in years, it was extremely pleasurable to say "goodbye" in the same 30 seconds. N&Z only was able to get 4 tracks by the editor. Sorry, Robert, but all the cool coyote symbol flags and bracelets don't get you anywhere when you are serving it up hot & steamy with songs like Billy's Revenge.

Manic did much better, with 7/10 tracks making the cut. Hurting Kind rocks. Tie Dye on the Highway rocks. Good recovery, then, for Mr. Plant.

Tonight's Netflix Selection

I had been told about this film, and had seen parts of it on cable, but finally sat down tonight and watched it from start to finish : Cube (1997)

It was a pleasant diversion for 90 minutes. I think I was supposed to like certain characters versus others, and maybe hope for my favorites to survive....but actually learned to dislike the whole bunch. Their bickering became annoying, and I became more interested in who/what was confining them instead of their fate - which I guess I was supposed to focus on. They all supposedly brought something different to the table - one was a math whiz, one a doctor, etc. One guy was an autistic Rainman type, with the commensurate math skills. I would have to say the highlight for me was near the end, when the cop character referred to the idiot savant as "telethon boy". Made me chuckle. Score: 2.5 Stars (out of 5)

Not In His Wildest Hallucinations

I just saw yet another of the "Man Law" commercials from our friends at Miller Lite. Aron Ralston is the guy wearing the tiedye shirt, and the one missing his right arm from the elbow down. I give ultimate props to Ralston for making a tough decision to self-amputate, in the interests of survival, after some kind of hiking accident. What I wonder about is this: if you consider Ralston's consciousness and the hallucinations that he might have experienced during this horrible ordeal, do you think he ever would have come up this: In a few years I will be doing commercials with Burt Reynolds, Eddie Griffin, and Jerome Bettis - with Miller Lite paying the freight. No way.

Hits from the Blog

I was using the "Next Blog" random browsing feature of blogspot, and came across this gem. The caption says "Redneck PalmPilot". I love it.

Turn Away, I'm Hideous

I am not sure about you, but this certainly qualifies in my Top 10 Least Flattering Photographs of All Time.

More Spiders, and Capt Kirk at the Regal Beagle

For pure laughs, this review is outstanding. It appears Kirk favors the tight slacks whether he's on the Enterprise or not. As far as "Rack Hansen" is concerned, I cannot comment because I am laughing too hard.

Tough, Tough Decisions

Hello, friends. I have been under the weather with a summer flu since last Saturday, Finally went in to the shaman yesterday...didn't want to, but had to do it. This was only my second visit to this MD. He is part of my insurance plan. This guy could be the stunt double for Dr. Sam Metcalf . You remember, the bitter country doctor that didn't want to go quietly when Harry Temple came to town. After a brief exam, Dr. Sam's-Stand-In gave me 2 prescrips and one OTC and now I am feeling much better in under 24 hours. Kudos to you, Doc. By the way, Arachnophobia fell far short of expectations. Granted, they were trying to keep a sense of humor. But when it comes to scary movies I demand the existence of real, tangible malevolence....and it falls short, just like Independence Day. I mean, sure, you had the alien behind the glass with the telekinetic powers, the kind of bullshit alien you might have seen here.....ok, wait back to the spider movie. You know what I mean. As soon as John Goodman showed up in the pest control truck you knew, just knew, that no character the audience cares about was going to die. Sorry, I can get off on tangents.
More importantly, I am currently listening to a random mix of the 5 Beck albums I own. I have yet to pick up Mellow Gold....don't ask why. It is almost as if I know it is an absolute treasure that I will experience at some point...but the anticipation cannot be matched. Odd, I know. But I'm an odd man. What I will do is rank the 5 Beck albums I own. I encourage your ranking and commentary.

1) Midnite Vultures (1999)
"Over Odelay? What, are you high?" This is MY ranking, not Rolling Stone. Vultures combines the 3 components that Beck specializes in, and does it well: funky grooves, great melodies, and lyrics that make you scratch your head while you bob it to the beat at the same time. Broken Train rules.
2) Odelay (1996)
I can say many glowing things about this album. It flows from A to Z like sweet molasses, and it introduced a musical genius on a large scale. Enough said.
3) Mutations (1998)
On the heels of the outrageous success of Odelay, Beck comes out with what I would call a masterpiece. Bottle of Blues and Canceled Check are two of my favorite all-time songs. Different style? Completely. But I love it. I was at Mesa Ampitheater for this tour, 4,000 people max.
4) Guero (2005)
I must admit that while I love the grooves on many tracks on this album, to me it sounds like Beck trying to mimic Beck. This effort comes in 4th place, but it is nonetheless a solid album. E-Pro sounds like Beck giving in to the music industry's desire for a single. I saw the show during this tour - Beck was part of last fall's Arizona State Fair line-up. Pay $10 to get in to the fair, and see the music for free. Best Hamilton I ever spent. This show kicked ass, including a percussion effort that involved the entire band.
5) Sea Change (2002)
There are some decent tracks here, including Paper Tiger and Lost Cause. From what I have seen Sea Change was a critical darling, but for the most part it comes across as a soundtrack for assisted suicide. Still, I listen to it when I want something completely unobtrusive in the background - like Jack Johnson.

Whew. That was not an easy chore.

The Amityville Horrific Remake

I broke down and rented the remake of The Amityville Horror today. My mistake. What a weak version of a movie that scared the living shit out of me as a kid. As I was renting it, there were several previewed copies of this DVD sitting by the register - for the low price of $4.99 plus tax. The rental fee was $4.00 and change, so it was tempting to just purchase it. Lets just say I am glad I didn't spend the extra $1.00. The actress who played Kathy Lutz is pretty hot, however.

Life Better Than Art

As they say, you cannot make this shit up. How could someone post this sign and keep a straight face?

I could not.

Got to Love Chauncey

Getz/Gilberto

I traded music with a friend of mine yesterday - and came away with an excellent addition to anyone's library

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&token=&sql=10:d0rvadskt8wo

I have been slowly building the jazz segment of my collection, and this seemed, as they say in the review, beyond essential. Makes you want to have some Cachaça, relax in your easy chair, and drift along for the ride.

Charles in Charge

An oldie but a goodie...I had forgotten about this ad. One of the better Nike ads of all-time, IMHO. Is it Chuck D of Public Enemy on the mike? Is it the retro B/W look? Is it the Chuckster's "Who Me?" smile? Taken together, it is very amusing.
(Veoh is a new video site, ala YouTube)

http://www.veoh.com/videoDetails.html?v=e94581DKfJcZSQ&

I can't believe it!

Everyone loves Justin! Everyone! Why did this happen? How could they let this happen? How could the nice man from Electric Company let this happen?

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/view.php?StoryID=20060714-083601-5072r