Dr. Evil is really Lorne Michaels

Dennis miller has a radio show these days. Dana Carvey was on tonight and he did an impression of SNL Producer Lorne Michaels asking Carvey (while part of the cast) if had nailed the Danny Bonaduce impersonation yet. After Carvey's brief monologue, Miller commented that the accent Myers uses in the Austin Powers movies, as Dr. Evil, is actually Myers impersonating Carvey impersonating Lorne Michaels.

It was true, at least according to my ear.

Obi-Wan's Big Entrance

Watched some Return of the Jedi again tonight....because HBO is shoving it down my throat. I got something out of it though, in this case a good chuckle after noticing something I never noticed before. I was wondering about Obi-Wan and his ability to use the Force to communicate with Luke Skywalker even though Kenobi is dead. When Luke is visiting Yoda and Obi-Wan appears, he appears 25 feet away and sort of walks into the scene as if he is returning from a nice walk around the block. If he is so powerful, why can't he just materialize on a swamp log, right next to Luke? Its almost as if that is too easy, and he enjoys materializing a few feet away so he can make a big show of it.

I'm not sure, but I had a good laugh either way.

the military channel

Just seen on the Military Channel, during an episode of "Warbots": brief comment from one of the Northrop Grumman reps, regarding the X-47n flying combat drone. More specifically, comment from a fellow by the name of Mick Jaggers.

That is an awesome name.

Got to get Religion

I like to exercise, obviously due to the health benefits but also because of the wonderful convergence of endorphins and huge guitar riffs. Nothing makes exercise easier than loud, aggressive rock and roll...especially when you hit the wall and the only way through it is to turn the volume up on GnR's "It's So Easy", for instance.

If you are like me, and always on the lookout for good workout tunes, check out Bad Religion.

While I love them, some complain their songs all sound the same. In terms of exercise, however, it is that consistency of sound that make them perfect. You have the confidence of knowing you're going to get 30 min+ of uninterrupted guitar riffs, machine gun snare drum, and angry lyrics featuring words you need to look up in the dictionary...without any bullshit ballads to break the pace.

Arena Rock

Rush has put out a boatload of music and it has earned its spot among rock's elite. If you cannot at least respect this band, then you really don't have an objective viewpoint when it comes to discussing music.

I recently imported A Farewell to Kings into my i-Tunes library, as well as a bunch of other stuff that had not yet been added to what has become my ever-growing precious...pronounce like Gollum: my digital music database....my precious. How about Buffalo Springfield, some Grateful Dead, a little Beatles (Live at the BBC) that I had lying around, and even live Who that had escaped the ripping process. Getting back to the subject, I just request that you take some time and listen to "Xanadu" all the way through. All 11:11 of it, son. Even the gristle. I just think that it helps to remind you of what huge concert rock once was - and hopefully can be again. Wolfmother just doesn't do it for me.

(Note: Yes, the movie Xanadu has nothing to do with Canadian progressive rock. But, ONJ is hot, and her hair in that movie poster is unstoppable.)

Sister Morphine

I'd have to say that Sister Morphine belongs in the top 5 Rolling Stones songs of all time. Now, I know that getting to that level is high praise, considering their library of work....but for me this song deserves it. Thoughts?

I'd party with *this* guy

I most often delete the forwarded e-mails that I receive from friends. You know the type. But sometimes they are worth passing on, or at least worth posting on the blog. It is not necessarily the message of the shirt, its the message PLUS the mustache and glasses. It all works. Take a look at the background. I don't know what kind of "event" this is. But I know I wanna go, and with this particular gentleman.

Classic Tripe From Yesteryear

Currently being served up on something called Showtime EX, which might just mean Extra Weak, is some disaster called Big Bad Mama 2 from 1987. There must have been tons of coke going around for this to have been green-lighted. Cast? How about Robert Culp? I will see you your Culp and raise you an Angie Dickinson, wearing more fake diamonds than Liberace performing at the Kennedy Center. I watched it for 10 minutes and witnessed a bedroom scene with the actors listed above. The body doubles used for the scene, which was Red Show Diaries-esque, appeared to have used Hines Ward of the Pittsburgh Steelers and Penelope Ann Miller. The dialogue was even worse. Don't make me quote anything. Just awful.

Prison Break

Highlights from the Monday 11/13 episode of Prison Break:

#1) bad bald guy asking blond hooker for a "cleveland steamer"....and willing to spend $750 for it.

#2) bathtub n' iron interrogation treatment

#3) another balding bad guy telling cohort on telephone that he would "gut him, bow to stern."

I have to admit it was quality network tv...and I don't watch much of it.

Ramsey Lewis and PBS

There is a PBS show on PBS HD called "Legends of Jazz with Ramsey Lewis". I highly recommend it. Check your local listings for times. It comes with Dolby Digital sound, and the colors in HD add flair to the visual presentation of these talented artists. Ramsey hosts music heavyweights (himself being one, of course - check him out if you are not familiar with Mr. Lewis), holding short interviews with the guests before releasing them to perform - and that is the real magic of this show. Tonight, bossa nova is on the menu with Oscar Castro-Neves and Ivan Lins.

XMen 3 Breakdown

I love reading James Lileks (www.lileks.com). Here's his take on the 3rd XMen movie, a flick that I found less than excellent by a wide margin. Last Stand? I just hope its the Last Movie. Seems he agrees:

"Movies: I watched X-Men 3. Might as well have called it X-Men: Let’s Just Kill Off Everyone, Then. I liked the second one, but never really loved the franchise, to use that horrid word. The entire mutant-as-a-metaphor was insulting, anyway –if you know anything about kids you know that a teen with the ability to shoot fire out of his ears would not be shunned as a weirdo freak but elected class president on general principle: dude! Awesome! I can understand parents getting upset if their kid was blue and covered with hairy nodules, but the idea that parents would consider their kid “sick” if she had the telekinetic ability to raise every car in the neighborhood nine feet in the air – please. We have parents who will go across the ocean to adopt a Down’s Syndrome baby; are we to believe that the majority of American parents reject their kids because they can levitate or cough up gold by the quart or exude perfectly formed Neapolitan Ice Cream bricks from their hindquarters? Far from persecuting them, they’d get their own reality shows. Storm would be a TV meteorologist in New York. As for your morning commute, I’ll see what I can do. Stay classy, Manhattan.

And then there’s Wolverine - he’s Troubled and Frowny and Haunted, even though he appears to be a 35 year old man living in a high school with no job, surrounded by good-looking women, and able to kill whoever he wants without any sort of legal repercussions. You almost want some mutant to confront him in the kitchen some night: what you so mad about, anyway? You can heal from a gunshot to the head in six seconds and you got spikes coming out of your hands. Yeah, well, it hurts when the spikes come out. Oh really? I shoot liquid nitrogen everytime I pee. That’s my mutation. I go by the name of Holdit. Wanna switch?."

Passenger 57

Seems that Mr. Snipes has found himself a bit of trouble:

TAMPA, Fla. — Actor Wesley Snipes was indicted Tuesday on eight counts of tax fraud, accused of trying to cheat the government out of nearly $12 million in false refund claims and not filing returns for six years.

Prosecutors said Snipes fraudulently claimed refunds totaling nearly $12 million in 1996 and 1997 on income taxes already paid. The star of the "Blade" trilogy and other films including "Jungle Fever" and "White Men Can't Jump" was also charged with failure to file returns from 1999 through 2004.

While the story is disturbing, I will not declare Wesley guilty until proven innocent....who knows how this case will go. What really disturbs me is that hat. Who told him that was a good look? He looks like an extra from the set of A Clockwork Orange...or maybe he is taking hints from the wardrobe people that worked on Freedomland...because that hat sucks too. Thats right, Mace Windu, your hat alone kept me from even considering that film.

Pull The Trigger

Hi-Def music channel currently featuring VH-1 Rock Honors repeat with Kiss, Queen, Def Leppard and Judas Priest. I have seen 2 of the 4 bands live. I really should have seen Judas Priest, as well, in the 80's - they came through AZ often enough. Kiss finishes the 2 hour program with "Love Gun", accompanied by a shitload of pyrotechnics at the end. Recommend the footage if you haven't caught it.

For reference value, from Allmusic.com :

The secret to the musical longevity of Kiss is its ability to marry the sonic muscle of hard rock to songs full of indelible pop hooks. "Love Gun" is one of the best examples of this skill, an ideal marriage of hooks and riffs that has become one of the group's defining classics. The lyrics are a statement of hard rock machismo at its most grandiose as they depict a powerful lover who likens himself to a deadly weapon: "No place for hidin', baby/No place to run/You pull the trigger of my love gun." The melody is equal parts hard rock and pop song, wedding verses that swing in an ominously heavy fashion to a chorus built on a simple, surprisingly flowery singalong hook that underlines its repetition of the title phrase. Kiss' recording of "Love Gun" turns the song into a stomping rocker punctuated with a few pop frills: the surging, swinging power chords and the machine-gun-like drum fills that drive the chorus along are pure hard rock, but the fluttery, high-pitched backing vocals that sail in on the chorus are pure pop. Paul Stanley completes the sound with a snarling vocal that makes the hyperbole of the lyrics work (fans might also be interested to know that Stanley also plays bass on this track in addition to his singing and guitar duties). "Love Gun" surprisingly failed to become a hit single despite its high hook quotient, but the song became an instant staple of the Kiss live show and retained this place of honor for years.

Ideal P.R. Man

I don't see what the fuss is about. Why does the Kazakhstan government have an issue with this man representing their country? Look at those stylish shades, the snappy footwear...and..um....that fluorescent green thing. He is a master of fashion, while remaining accessible to the everyman. I salute you, Borat.

The Irwin Effect

Now I know they are serious about this: stephen a smith interviews that bearded naturalist from WildBoyz (the grizzly adams guy with the shark tooth necklace) on the Deuce regarding the death of Steve Irwin. When a 3rd tier cable news show devotes a segment + interview, with a 3rd tier host and a 3rd tier guest, the story is extending through the architecture....it is remarkable to watch it develop from Drudge link to such a detailed analysis of Stingray behavior with the esteemed academic staff of....WildBoyz.

***Update: I thought I had seen enough, but then I came across Mean Guns (1997)
Please, stop it. Highlander? Ice-T? Something special is brewing here: "A crime lord challenges his rivals to a gunfight in an abandoned prison, with the winners getting $10 million." Wow. Anytime you can get The Pusher involved with the Swiss-educated sword-wielding Legend of Greystoke, magic will surely result. Come to think of it, Lambert is about as well-spoken as Van Dammage when it comes to pronouncing the language, so maybe not magic. Plenty of laughs, but no magic.

V For Vapidity

Rented V For Vendetta through Netflix. I think I can summarize this film thusly:
"It's Must-See Thursday! First, at 8, Padme and V hang out watching classic b&w movies; V blows up some
shit."

The effort to paint a lunatic as a disfigured jazz aficionado with a Mensa vocabulary and a flair for entertaining made me laugh out loud. I know it was a DC Comics graphic novel, and I don't have an issue with the story line. But IMDB readers make it sound like All The President's Men . This flick was Fantastic 4 with better acting. To call it ham-handed would be a compliment.

Viggo

In case anyone is interested, AMC is serving up Hidalgo right now.

(muffled chuckle)

The Bills Must Be Paid

I don't know about you, but when discussing Hollywood and its denizens, the names of Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman come up frequently. In fact, people seem to often be thinking of one guy when they are actually thinking of the other dude. If you use 1990 as a baseline you have several big name films that feature one of these actors. Lets see.....for Paxton: Tombstone, True Lies, Apollo 13, A Simple Plan,Twister. For Pullman: Singles, Wyatt Earp (the connection to Tombstone is very weird.) Independence Day, The Grudge. Mr. Paxton was born in 1955. Mr. Pullman was born in 1953. Obviously there is no cosmic connection, but these two gentlemen seem to often occupy the same movie discussion. Tonight, however, was different. ScatTime featured some flick called Brain Dead (1990) Plot line: A process to erase unhappy memories takes a turn for the worse when a patient loses his mind during surgery. I felt like Indiana Jones finding that golden head statue thing in the cave - such a rare, rare find....a movie that had BOTH Paxton and Pullman. It was a P&P Double-Shot. Imagine that. Then sit back and consider the awesome consequences.

Hee Hee

She is not that fat, but you have to laugh just the same.

2 More Reasons Why Movie Channels Suck

Currently on HBO-E:
Land of the Dead (2005) A mercenary leader squares off against a rebellious comrade, while flesh-eating zombies threaten their fortified city.
Starring someone named Simon Baker and John Leguizamo.
Comment: More like Land of the Extremely Shitty Movie.

In case your crap meter is not red-lining, HBO-Zone concurrently offers this "film":
Supercross: The Movie (2005) Sibling rivalry threatens to tear apart two brothers after one wins a slot on a motocross team. Starring Steve Howey and Mike Vogel.
Comment: I don't remember Supercross: The TV Series, do you?