Life Better Than Art

As they say, you cannot make this shit up. How could someone post this sign and keep a straight face?

I could not.

Got to Love Chauncey

Getz/Gilberto

I traded music with a friend of mine yesterday - and came away with an excellent addition to anyone's library

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&token=&sql=10:d0rvadskt8wo

I have been slowly building the jazz segment of my collection, and this seemed, as they say in the review, beyond essential. Makes you want to have some Cachaça, relax in your easy chair, and drift along for the ride.

Charles in Charge

An oldie but a goodie...I had forgotten about this ad. One of the better Nike ads of all-time, IMHO. Is it Chuck D of Public Enemy on the mike? Is it the retro B/W look? Is it the Chuckster's "Who Me?" smile? Taken together, it is very amusing.
(Veoh is a new video site, ala YouTube)

http://www.veoh.com/videoDetails.html?v=e94581DKfJcZSQ&

I can't believe it!

Everyone loves Justin! Everyone! Why did this happen? How could they let this happen? How could the nice man from Electric Company let this happen?

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/view.php?StoryID=20060714-083601-5072r

Lethal Weapon

I was at Nationwide VisionCare today for an eye exam. I sat on my glasses the other day and they were unable to live to tell the tale. Time for contact lenses again.

More importantly, after I had waited for over an hour for my visit with the Doctor (it was Rosenberg, for all you Fletch fans), one of the staff was whispering and pointing at me. I asked why, and she said "we were trying to figure out who you looked like. do people tell you that you resemble anyone?" I said no and that generally it was me telling others who they resembled. She laughed and said "I think you look like Gary Busey." So, of course, I then screamed at her at the top of my lungs, "My name is Mr. Joshua!" and held a lit lighter under my arm to ram home the point.

Needless to say, I got a discount on my exam.

The 4400

If I recommend a television show, you can rest assured that it has some redeeming value. I'd like to think of myself as a tough critic. So, go ahead and rent Season 1 Disc 1 of The 4400

It reeks of an attempt to mimic The X-Files, but there are worse things. Once you get past some of the sappy dialogue and realize the actors are doing a great job of delivering a solid vision through their efforts to carry out the storyline....you kind of buy in. I got it through Netflix.

UPDATE #1
I am now 3 more episodes into the story...and am hooked on this show. The different subplots within the overall story mesh well together, and the challenges encountered by the main characters only serve to cement the bonds between them and the viewer. Highly recommended.

music item #2047

Many dismiss Radiohead's Amnesiac . I do not, and never have. I'm a reasonable man. Get off my case.

Buffalo Bill, anyone?

(Dear Readers, I am almost always willing to push the envelope in terms of what I consider humorous imagery. You have been warned.)

Some of my crew of friends/readers have decided to mock me privately over the appearance of an unknown 3rd party at this site, and any complimentary comments that may have been made.

So, if you must know, I have been acting strangely lately....friends and family, knocking loud at my door, yelling at me to open up. Inside I wear a kimono and lipstick, doing the weenie-tuck while I dance in front of a full-length mirror ala Jame Gumb....the stereo loudly drones on, offering a one word monotone salute to whatever username is the most recent to lavish praise on my writing skills.

The truth is that I (most likely) will not dance in front of the mirror or engage in any other bizarre behavior if you happen to tell me how much you enjoy this blog. But please feel free. Now, I must go. It's So Easy just came on the box, and well, you know...Slash calls.

I have to choose

Although I will constantly change the verbage under the name of the blog (sort of a tribute to
the Red Meat comic strip. If you have not seen it, I highly recommend it. it is easy to find through google) I do have to choose a handle and stick with it so that responses to comments etc will not be confusing. So, in keeping with the title of this blog, we'll just go with "The Nefarious One". Not great, and not as much fun as changing it every other day, but at least you will know it is me when I am ripping your useless comments to shreds.

The Candy Song

Some friend of mine used the phrase "Habit Chain" over the weekend. I liked the phrase, and it made me think of different habits that I have. One of them, as those who know me well will tell you, is my sweet tooth. Make that sweet teeth, because it cannot be just one that clamors for sugary snacks. I know this is genetic. How so? One anecdote tells all. I brought my father to an AZ Diamondbacks playoff game in 2001, and it was game 5 of a 5 game series against St Louis. It was in the 8th inning of a 1-1 pitchers duel...and you could feel the tension of the fans. It was electric. This is what baseball fans live for...these moments. I then feel someone tugging on my left shirt sleeve - and it was my father : "I'm out of cash, do you have a couple of bucks so I can got get some ice cream?" Enough said. With all this in mind, enjoy The Candy Song...


i like candy
candy for free
i like candy
candy for me

Twizzlers and Nerd Ropes
Snickers all around
the wrappers are shiny
crunch, crunch is the sound

i like candy
candy for free
i like candy
candy for me

Sour Patch dreams
haunt me all day
perhaps some Chewy Sprees
will light my way

i like candy
candy for free
i like candy
candy for me

show me a Gummi Bear
you'll see me smile
you ask about Skittles
see the big pile?

i like candy
candy for free
i like candy
candy for me

Rolos and Kit Kat
i won't share a bit
Hubba Bubba and Bubble Yum
you ain't gettin' shit

i like candy
candy for free
i like candy
candy for me

Mac Madness

I finally shed the PC world in early May when I picked up this Mac iBook G4. I had not purchased a new computer since 1999, so this was not unlike "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer" when I started using the Mac. Easy to use, instant WiFi access, the Dashboard feature - I loved all of it. Almost 2 months of pure consumer satisfaction. I should have known it was too perfect to be true.

In a nutshell, the Mac began freezing up and became unusable. Its not like I was using it to tap into NORAD and try to derail Mr. Kim Jong's ballistic assault. I was trying to read ESPN and send/receive e-mail. Nothing major. So I sent it back to Apple Repair and patiently waited for it to come back. 8 days later the unit comes back and its like Christmas morning. That is, until it started to show the same problems after only 5 hours of use. I was apoplectic, and that is an understatement (can there be a level of anger beyond apoplectic? perhaps we can call it "catatonic rage") Little did I know that it would pale in comparison to the levels of incredulity that came when I encountered some of the denizens of Apple Tech Support.

My first nomination for "Obtuse Asshole Tech Support Person" is someone we'll call Sam. I got to talk to this gentleman after the initial call earlier in the day, by the time I had realized that Apple's initial repairs did nothing to fix the problem. He attempted to regurgitate some policies about their repair process and I had to interject and tell him I knew what he is referring to and can't we just move this along. My prize for trying to be efficient? "Sir, you are very rude. Every time I start talking you cut me off. That is very, very rude." Oh yeah, Sammy? Rude? Tell you what, nerd. Stop that unending conveyor belt of absolute bullshit rolling out of your mouth and just get me to someone who will A) let a disgruntled customer rant a bit when his $1000 electronics purchase performs like a drink coaster and B) will not lecture a customer about proper conversational etiquette when the customer has just received a supposedly repaired computer. FAH Q, just like Ben Afflect's paddle said in Dazed & Confused.

The next candidate would be Barbara in Customer Relations. I was forwarded to her after talking to Sam, the skillfull diplomat. After I gave her a total reset of the scenario, she must have reached deep to try to help. How deep? How about this: "Well, sir, I am sorry to hear about your troubles. My notes do indicate, however, that we got the unit back to you in the 7-10 day timeframe we promise." Of course, I couldn't help but chuckle when she trotted out that piece of garbage. She got indignant and said "I can't believe you are laughing in my face." WHAT? ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME? Your firm produces a total lemon, the customer sends it back for repair and goes without a key component of his home office for a week+ and then gets the same goddamn lemon back....and you want to laud your company for the quick turnaround? I can overnight a box of dogshit too, and I don't have the resources of Apple. Let me offer a suggestion: Shut it before you dig the hole any deeper. I think I'll give the Blue Star Award for Complete and Total Incompetence to Barb.

My laptop is now in the hands of the people at the nearby Apple Store, and they tell me they will take care of things. Lets hope so. I have often thought that real customer service is dead now, and the only way to get any justice is to be the squeaky wheel. This horrific experience only solidified that belief. Thanks, Apple, for destroying your reputation with me in just under 10 days.

Movie Reviews

I really enjoy Internet Movie Database...what a great website. You get to read movie reviews by total randoms, including the following gem from some Canadian gentleman named "mm-39". How Shatner figures into things, I don't know, but this made me laugh out loud. The review is for Chuck Norris' film Good Guys Wear Black:


Better than TJ Hooker
7 March 2002
Author: mm-39 from Winnipeg

This guy is better than TJ Hooker. This guy does not jump on car windows, like TJ, he kicks threw them. Other than that this film is lamer than the 80-81 Winnipeg Jets. Not much of a story, but the budget did not help. I like the karate, but the acting was sad. I would suggest this film for someone I did not like.

Oh, that Trent

Listening to the iPod on shuffle. Currently 3400 songs and counting. Among the hits offered by the electronic brain today was Ringfinger, off of Nine Inch Nail's 1989 release Pretty Hate Machine. The head-bobbing electronic beats...combined with the tortured existence of the souls playing parts within the songs and the lyrics that animate them in the theater of your imagination....all I can say is Wow. When Reznor is on, he is ON.

Thanks, Scarlett

First off, make no mistake about it: I really like Scarlett Johansson. Lost in Translation was a great film, and she was a big part of it. However, I cannot pass up the opportunity to laugh at her. In the recent Summer Double-Issue of Entertainment Weekly, where they offer their list of "Must see" people and things, they do a page on her as "Must Workaholic". I guess she is spending alot of time on the set these days. Perhaps she just can't shake her "dumb blonde" character from The Island, or maybe this passes for serious reflection on her part:

"When I was a freshman in high school, I thought I had other things I wanted to do, like anthropology, or silly things like botany or opening a bakery. But now I can't imagine not being an actor."

Yes, thats right. Evaluating ancient cultures, or perhaps the plant life on planet Earth is silly, just like baking bread and selling it. Silly, silly baker-man. Silly botanist. Keep busy with your trivial pursuits....while I do really important things like star in movies opposite Josh Hartnett.

I'm Back

I have not posted for over a year. But I have a new mac laptop. And I'm online ALL the time with work and surfing. So, I might as well start writing again.

Stay tuned.

The Force, or is it FlexAll?

I had been waiting for the right time to go see Revenge of the Sith. I was 7 years old when Episode IV came out in '77, a perfect age for that kind of movie. I had all the action figures, I had the Land Speeder with the retractable wheels, and of course I had my own X-Wing Fighter. It seemed everyone at school had some combination of the aforementioned items....some even had those foot-long action figures, the coolest one of all being Boba Fett, of course.

I had not made firm plans with anyone to see it, so on Monday night I just went solo to take it in. Blame FOX for giving me Episode II, Attack of the Clones, on Sunday in HiDef with Dolby 5.1....all of a sudden I was jonesing to pick up the story where it had been left off. Smart programming.
Going alone to the movies gives you the freedom to choose the best seat in the house. There are always single seats available because, for the most part, people do not enjoy having to sit next to our fellow citizens in such close proximity. Sure enough, after choosing a seat smack dab in the middle of the row, the guy next to me waited 5 minutes before moving to the right about 2 seats, complete with an "I am annoyed" snort. I don't stink. I don't talk, and I don't fling MilkDuds everywhere when I eat, so this fellow clearly felt it was just...too....close. I hope he works through his issues.

As far as the movie goes, I give it a 7/10. It is MUCH better than the last two Lucas offerings, if only because he keeps the pace moving. He cuts down on the sedative-like effects found in the dialogue of the previous 2 movies and gives us much more of the action/adventure we came to see in the first place. I guess George figured out that we're not here to see Anakin and Padme declare their love for each other. We're here to see Jango Fett launch some crazy missle off of his JetPack, some gadget that makes MacGyver look like he's working out a plumber's tool kit. The acting still sucks, and Samuel Jackson should be tested to see how much wood is in his body...Master Windu will not be appearing in any off-Tatooine stage productions...what a throw-away role. Speaking of the Jedi Council, I have to bring up this bothersome inconsistency (credit to JM, a friend in Santa Fe): in every shot, Yoda is walking around with a cane, and seemingly hobbled from a life of battling the Dark side and various other back-breaking Jedi labor he may have engaged in.....BUT, just like in the last movie's fight with Count Dooku, when the heat is on the guy transforms into something not unlike the bizarre monkey-style fighter in Bloodsport. I suppose we must accept that the Force, while its main focus is to provide various abilities like Chokehold and Levitate, also offers a soothing menthol heat for tired joints and muscles. Rub more of the Force in the affected area if symptoms reappear. I also must give props to Christopher Lee as Count Dooku. Lee was running around with Peter Cushing and Vincent Price in 50's and 60's horror films...http://imdb.com/title/tt0059125/...and here we are 50 years later and he looks like Connery's stunt double from Entrapment. Nice make-up work. Very nice.

Dog Pee in My Kitchen

I walked the dog in the park near my house this morning and came upon a small 'lady and the tramp' style terrier male puppy (Buddy) and a huge choco lab male (Loki). Thinking their people must be around somewhere, I tried to go past them but they were sniffing my dog Daisy (adopted boxer/pitbull) and following us. No leashes, and no one showed up in 10 minutes to take claim. Their was no answer at the number on both tags, and they were too near a major street, so I took both of them and brought them home. Buddy whizzed on my kitchen floor, looking at me like he was saying "Thanks for letting us chill here, chump." 2 hrs later the people finally answered their phone and I drove them over to their home, 6 blocks away or so. They were very thankful..if you have ever lost your dog(s) for any period of time it is a terrible, awful mental place to be. I was offered a cold Pepsi...very nice of them. While on the front lawn, the man of the house hit me with the folded up bill, the style you use when you need to make less look like more with the luggage guy. It was mysterious to look at it, it could be a 20, it could have been a 10, 5..even a single for that matter...you didn't know...and therein was the wonderful not-knowing of the process. I returned this man's animals...and he tipped me. Its not the amount ($5 as it turned out), but the skycap/doorman flavor of it. I dream of a world where men roam the streets, ready at a moment's notice to rescue your dog from possible death/injury by motor vehicle...or, if not, maybe load your golf clubs into the car.

"Hey, you with the beard. Why are we all so goddamn short? Is Darth Vader this short?" 

Its easy to fix the Millenium Falcon now

The following is a good example of what I might come up with on this online journal, this blog, as all the hipsters are calling it. A friend of mine told me I should do more analysis on Nef. R, more depth. There will be time in the future for long-winded manifestos and for some "heavy rotation" features, features like "Music Picks of the Week" or the like. I'm still getting my sea legs, and sometimes this site will reflect what is on the "Mr. Bobo's Table" of my brain. If you go to political blogs at all you'll notice that almost every entry is like an Op-Ed piece within your local paper: What is a hot topic, and what do I want to say about it? There is too much of that already in the blogosphere. I strongly feel there is always room for nonsense, and Jello as well. (If you're scratching your head over the ref. to one Mr. Bobo, then you didn't watch enough Cheers)

The item that caught my eye today is the new LEGO/Star Wars video game. Yes, I'm one of those men in their mid-30's that cannot shed their video game roots - and why should I? If you were a boy lucky enough to come of age when the Atari 2600 was THE holiday gift, and the Combat game seemed as detailed and rich as today's military training programs, then you know where I'm coming from. I have watched the latest renaissance with joy. With XBox Live I can play some snot-nosed Midwestern kid - a real-time human opponent - in FIFA soccer while sitting on my couch and eating my Mixed Berry gummies. That is quite a leap.
The "creative" team in question decided to make a video game for the latest consoles featuring on-screen characters (see screenshot above) that appear exactly as real LEGO people appear : little overweight midgets with 3-D horseshoe hands and a facial expression that suggests mild retardation. Supposedly these little Life Goes On Jedi Masters not only fit the graphical world of Star Wars but also comfort the little tyke playing this adventure with soothing, familiar icons. Even the cool spaceships that exist in this galaxy far, far away are limited to the Lego block system...who knew? Why not just chuck the Lego license entirely and pay the graphic artists to create vivid player characters that fill your screen with color and detail but tone down the violence and sell it as a G-rated kids Star Wars game? No, lets just give 'em some of the same plastic shit they get out of the box.
Perhaps this works on some level. I don't know. They call it "kid-friendly" in the one of the taglines. How about this one : "We've imagined the plastic for you."

UPDATE: A friend with an MBA tells me that this is good marketing at work. He is probably right, and the game will sell well. I still think the kids would rather look at the kind of visuals that they can see in their heads using a little imagination, not the plastic little man in their hands.